And the Rooster Crows...

Hello friends and family,

Thanks for checking in on this blog! I want to share about my last few months, and what lies ahead for me as I continue working with Samaritan’s Purse Cambodia.

In the first week of August, on the same day my staff planned a going away lunch for me (as I as supposed to leave Cambodia on August 4), we received information that I was extended a third term until December 16! So my goodbye lunch turned into a celebratory lunch complete with traditional fried fish, steamed vegetables, beef lok lak, and many mounds of rice. However, I was allowed to go home for a family wedding. During that time, the Lord blessed me with many family laughs, visits with old friends/new friends, a trip to my old school town/church, and to beautiful Oregon. I left with a swollen and happy heart, thankful for my time at home but eager to return to my work and staff. When I got off the plane and smelled the warm Cambodian night air, drove through crowded neon lit streets with motos and tuk tuks, while my manager updated me on the latest news, I smiled, so SO thankful for this home away from home. 

Upon returning to the office, it was agreed that I would be moving to the northwestern border city in-between Cambodia and Thailand. This is where one of our main projects- The Migration Assistance Center is located.
In a nutshell: The goal of this office is to serve and assist Cambodian migrants who are returning from working in Thailand. Thai authorities bring truckloads of migrants to our receiving center where we give out water snacks, share about safe migration through a booklet/presentation, collect information through ipad surveys to notice migration patterns, and we seek to identify potential survivors/people vulnerable towards trafficking. With these individuals we complete a separate survey to judge how to best meet their needs, whether that’s through referring them to our medical or legal partners, helping them return home, providing them with a warm meal, etc. Most importantly, we want these individuals to know they are loved by an Almighty God who offers salvation, healing, and restoration to all. We recognize that every migrant who comes through our center is from God and with open hands we hope to share the gospel with them. Once they return home after a few days, we conduct follow up activities. It’s a dusty little office located in a market with cows walking by all the time, and amazing things happen here as we get to hear stories from migrants and get a small chance to pray God’s blessing and protection over them. 

The goal of moving to work closely with this project was to give me “living in the field experience,” more management experience, and to work closely with the data we collect at that office in lieu of new opportunities. A typical day looks like leaving for work at 7:30-7:45 (have to take into consideration how thick the mud is), and working in the “quieter” office until 12 noon. Usually we receive one truck in the morning around 8-8:30, and don’t receive more one until the afternoon. Then staff eat lunch together, and we have devotions after lunch. For devotions, we sit around the table and sing youtube worship songs in Khmer and English that play through a massive speaker, read a chapter from the bible together, discuss 4 main questions, share prayer requests and pray together. At least twice a week we have to stop and continue devotions later because a truck pulls up with migrants.  The amount of work done in the afternoon is dependent on how many trucks come through, on average we get one from 3-5, and then one from 7-9, totaling three trucks a day! I generally leave at 5, but the center is open until the Thai authorities bring the last truck, so some staff stay until 9 pm.  

When I come home, I spend 10 minutes (minimum) washing mud off my feet/legs, then playing hide and seek with the children who live below me around our fish pond, and then whatever else the evening holds for me! In my “village area” everyone generally turns in for the night from 7:30-8 pm, and start their day anywhere from 3:30-5 am. As a result, it is pretty quiet and peaceful! (Except for the roosters who crow literally ALL night…) This schedule has reminded me to slow down, to take advantage of the quiet. Something my dad calls my “Labrador personality,” does not always like to do.

As with most cross cultural living, I have had to redefine "how to live." For example: how do I buy my food, how do I drive to work, how/where do I exercise, how do I carry water jugs on my moto, how do I make friends, etc. All things that come naturally when we live in our home culture take a little bit of extra time to figure out, and may not even be possible! Two days ago I celebrated little wins, I successfully bought eggs from a market and got gas for my moto (don’t laugh). But God in his kindness has been so good to me and has provided everything I’ve needed through various means and individuals.

So that is a quick summary of my last few months and a glimpse into the next 2 and a half months! I plan on being busy implementing activities in three main areas in the office, conducting research/presenting my findings, and in general, adjusting and learning to live in a new city! Feel free to reach out if you any questions or want more information!

I Will Look Up

I can not believe it has been two months since I last posted. Wow, does time fly! I’m still attempting to balance the whole, “This is my job so how much do I post or not post?” mindset. But be assured- the work here is moving swiftly!

This past week was a national holiday- Children’s Day- which meant that national staff had the day off and expats worked from our “AWL” (alternative work location). I was pumped because there is this adorable French cafe with a Khmer twist that has faded black and white tile, dark green furnishings, floor length windows, round little wood tables, and plays music like Hotel California and 500 miles. The motos rushing past the windows outside, the market down the street, and the khmer food selection remind me I’m in Cambodia and not some café in Europe.

Anywaysss, the biggest announcement is that my internship has been extended until the beginning of August! So I’ll be staying in Cambodia as the Protection and Prevention Intern (counter-trafficking programming) and I am so thankful and grateful for this opportunity! This is an amazing place to learn, grow, as well as contribute as much as I can, and I am honored they offered me an extension. This means I get a few more months of dusty tuk tuk rides, rice for days, smiles from villagers, crowded bustling markets, and the chance to work alongside an amazing staff.


The next few months will look differently from my first few here, in June there are various trainings scheduled and I have the chance to visit the other projects. And for my own work, I am in the process of packaging the safe migration and trafficking awareness curriculums to make them transferable. Basically it involves endless readings of documents and proposals and reports, and conversations back and forth with managers and staff, I always leave those conversations amazed at the selflessness and passion of the staff.

I also want to share something encouraging with you- because June 1 is a significant day for me (I wrote this post on June 1 but posted it today, sorry!).
On June 1, 2015 I was driving back to Corpus for an unexpected summer that I was uneasy and anxious about. Even though I knew the Lord was in it and pushing me to have an uncomfortable summer, I kept asking the Lord, “Why, why, why do I have to do this?”


And on June 1, 2016 I was supposed to be packing and flying to DR Congo the next day- but my visa never came. And day after day I waited for this visa because I was SO so sure I was still going. I had no official place to stay, my car broke down, no friends were near me, I was working only a few hours a week since it was so last minute, and scrambled to find a organization that would still hire.
In both summers and situations, I had no idea what August would look like. I questioned the Lord’s provision. How would I get through? What step do I take today? How would he grow me? What kind of person would I be at the end of these experiences?
And in full confidence- God 100% took care of me. The first summer he gave me countless new friends, new opportunities to work and grow (actually one of my jobs led me to add a minor in my degree when I went back to school in the fall and now I am working in that same field!), and I got to be closer to my family. My theme song for the summer was “Good Good Father” because it articulated everything I was experiencing.


And the second summer He gave me an opportunity to stay in the states and work in refugee resettlement in Chicago. As it turns out, a lot of the clients were Congolese refugees. It ended up being an amazing summer beyond what I could have ever imagined.

And when I returned to my school after both summers, one of the songs we sang in the first chapel both years was- “I Will look Up” and these lyrics specifically captured my summer experiences:

“I will look back and see that You are faithful

I look ahead believing You are able

Jesus Lord of all”

In both summers he provided and cared for me endlessly in ways I didn’t even know I needed. He was working all the pieces together, and it was blurry and fuzzy for me but he had a clear picture. And at the end I was amazed at his handiwork.


And so, here I am now- June 1, 2017! Praise the Lord this June 1 was smoother than the last two, but I am definitely facing uncertainty! I have kind of a clear picture of the next two months, but I have no idea what the Lord has for me after August. Yet it is because of these experiences (and more, but for today's purposes the focus is on these two) that I can say the Lord is faultlessly faithful. And whatever I (you) have to face, whatever I (you) will experience, he is already ahead of me (you) maneuvering the pieces and putting them together. For the glory and the honor of His name.


And so dear friends, I hope that whatever you are facing, whatever mountain is in front of you, whatever is causing confusing and anxious (even doubting) thoughts, I pray that the Lord meets you in a way that causes you to say to Him- “I will look back and see that you are faithful, I look ahead believing You are able,  Jesus Lord of all”


PS- Please feel free to contact me if you need anything!!

Happy updates, and aching for eternity

Hello lovely readers-


It’s been awhile since I’ve written-my apologies! Like I said in my last post, life just kind of happens swiftly here! Bear with me- as this is a long post. But I think it’s good, and I spent a lot of time trying to decide if I should take anything out-and so what stayed (I think) is important.


Some highlights from the last month includeee:

-having a chance to explore Siem Reap.
Siem Reap is a backpacker heavy, dusty, bustling city, and it is full of Cambodian culture and art. While I was there I got to watch how Cambodian silk is made (all handmade and natural- no electricity), explore Angkor Wat by waking up at 4 am to watch the sunrise over the massive temple (definitely look up Angkor Wat if you don’t know about it, it was breathtaking!), see the Cambodian traditional dance called Apsara (such talent! Here is a little clip if you want to see it: www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhgBDZa8-lk), it was a jam-packed weekend but totally worth it.

-having a staff BBQ! It was like one giant family working together to prepare the meal and it was a blast. And I was the odd one out but they always included me and EVEN let me pick out the bbq sauce for the expats (because they had a black pepper sauce-which is SO good, I can’t get enough of it). It was such an honor. That staff works incredibly hard (everyone here does), and it was so much fun to celebrate and grow in relationships with them while taking a break from the stress of the workday.

-participating in Prayer and Fasting Day-an entire day focused on praying for SP as a whole, then moving into SP Cambodia specifically and the projects here, the ministry here, and praying for all the staff individually. All 4 offices in Cambodia did this, and it was a wonderful reminder of why we are here and to root ourselves deeply in the Lord. My favorite part was walking through the buildings to pray for each project and department individually-the prayer requests were written on big sheets of paper and displayed on the walls. While it could have been easy to look at the requests and think “this is way beyond what we could ask or expect,” the bible also says in Hebrews 4:16,

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” 

So with confidence, we could lift up the requests to God and trust that he will give us the grace to complete the tasks that could seem impossible.
At the end of the day we took communion together and then broke our fast with the choice of EITHER intestine soup, or chicken blood soup. At first I thought they were kidding. But they weren’t.

-I had a cool chance to go to a UN Women’s research launch on domestic migrant workers in Thailand, Malaysia, and Cambodia where they discussed their research and findings. It was cool to attend and learn while meeting people from other organizations working in the labor migration and trafficking sector in Cambodia. These people love Cambodia and the Khmer people, and it was inspirational to learn and discuss with them about the labor state of Cambodia and what we can do to improve it and decrease exploitation. Because SP is already working to equip villagers to safely migrate-I’m looking forward to investigating how to include parts of the research findings and recommendations into our programming.


And that about catches you up with what has been going on in my life! Aside from working on my projects-which are continuing at a quick pace.

But I’ve actually had a harder time these last few weeks, and really wasn’t feeling better until this past week. It wasn’t that things were going badly, and I’m not sick, but my mind has been spinning and turning with a few things:

1. Tangibly thinking through what it is like to live overseas, and thinking through what this could potentially mean for my future, as I learn to balance being invested in my friends and family back home, but also try to form a life here.

2. I personally dealt with a lot of cultural barriers (due to language and misunderstandings) that were definitely expected at some point, but not as easily welcomed. I was laughed at, made fun of, and pointed at multiple times. I felt embarrassed, misunderstood, unheard, guilty, and even passive because some of it I could do nothing about. This isn’t to guilt anyone into feeling bad for me, its just the reality of living in a country where I actually know nothing and have to start from scratch. It requires being vulnerable, and learning to laugh at myself. It requires being willing to listen and learn even when the lady in front of you just mocked you to your face and shooed you away. Its learning to recognize that the Lord has been here long before I set foot here and these are his people whom he loves way more than I ever could-though I pray he shares it with me just a little bit (JK-a lot). And the suffering he endured to show them his love was worse than some lady mocking me. So I consider it a joy to go through some cultural refining if it means learning to love like Christ loves.
-And to cope with it, I wrote a funny journal entry titled “Living Cross-Culturally is…” and then listed all the ridiculous but simultaneously tough things that have been on my mind lately. And one day, I might make it into a whole book and publish it. Who knows. Then l jammed to some worship music, and wrote down what the Lord gently reminded me of, and I’m a lot better now.

3. My heart, soul, and mind were/are overwhelmed with the weight of the problems surrounding me as I go through experiences here and look at the news around the world. And if I were to be completely honest- my heart and soul often feel the weight of our big hurting world and the individual problems that people groups or countries individually face, and I have a hard time understanding how, just how, things could ever get better. And I wonder if the work that faithful people are doing actually helps. And I question why some people (AKA ME & YOU) can have so much while others have literally nothing. Last week I was burdened and heavy with these questions, and now reflecting back on it, I was aching for eternity to come. But the Lord’s prayer states, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” And I am so grateful for this prayer when I feel so small and incapable of helping and my words fail to portray the weight of what I feel.

I read a similar situation like this in Habakkuk, he is questioning the current state of the world around him and is questioning why God hasn't come to help him yet and how God could ever do good there. And God answers him by saying,

“Look at the nations and watch—and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told”

And in the next chapter Habakkuk says that he will stand on the watchtower and look for the Lord’s solution.
And I thought this was beautiful! In this dark time, Habakkuk is choosing to anxiously look for the Lord working around him, and he knows it will come so he is faithfully waiting and watching for it.

He also states that God comes from everlasting-He is an eternal God. And in my own life, I want to see God do the amazing things I’m praying for now and in the present. But friends, God has an ETERNAL perspective, and the things he does are intentionally to reveal his glorious self. That means his people may not see the amazing things they are praying for, but maybe their grandkids will? And it will bring even more glory to God because years of God working were leading up to that moment. Hebrews talks about people of faith dying before they could see their prayers answered. And I pray that my faith is the same way. That I don’t give up on the things I so desperately ache to see happen, but it causes me to fervently pray and confidently stand on the watchtower awaiting the Lord’s solutions- because I serve a BIG God who is able to do far beyond what I can ever imagine or ask for.

And with that, I hope you are encouraged today in whatever you are facing. If you need prayer for something please leave a comment or message me, I would love to pray for you.

Feb. 24, 2017

Hello! I know I said I would update this page often, but I’ve only done it once. Sorry. But I’m realizing that there is a reason people who work overseas in humanitarian/mission work send out newsletters every so often-because while amazing things happen all the time, the reality is that this is a job. I work from 8 am until 5 p.m. in an office for the most part. Sometimes there are no updates, or I’ve grown immune as to what exactly I should update about. Or there are so many updates that I can’t comprehend communicating about them.  Or even, the newness of my work or location can wear off and I feel less entailed to write.

That being said, I know so many of you support, pray for, and encourage me. I am so incredibly grateful for that and so I will continue to update and post, the frequency just might change! And I would never want to grow complacent to what God is doing around me. Posting reminds me to look at all He has done, or what He is working in, and reminds me that He is faithful. And I always want to write about the Lords faithfulness.

So, the biggest update is that I’ve been sick this week. I knew it would happen at some point. I really wasn’t that sick, just a fever on Monday and it passed in the evening. But I have been in recovery-for a humorous depiction of my time being sick, read the post below this at some point. The Lord showed himself in this because it gave me some extra time to reconnect with my personal quiet times, to skype my wonderful and encouraging friends back home, and to catch up on rest. I was also amazed and blessed by the care from the staff here. They took care of me so well!

As for work, it has been a whirlwind!

Basically, I switch off every week with working in the main office in the capital city, and working in the field offices in the northern west province that borders Thailand. When I am in the office I do more “officey” work including edit documents, help translate stories, create surveys to collect data, help my manager with reporting, and learn how to use computer software to help us develop efficient programs. I am always learning something new, and sometimes I have so many questions that I don’t know what to do with (Don’t worry, I ask most of them). Sometimes its hard to be the recent college grad who expects to know everything even though it’s a unrealistic standard… and is then frustrated when she doesn’t know everything and has to ask for help…even though that’s TOTALLY normal and no one expects me to know everything. Man, the thought process of an intern would be interesting to capture.

When I go to the field offices, I work with the national (Cambodian) staff. So far I’ve helped them with a training booklet on safe migration that they will use in the villages. Soon I’ll be going up there for more trainings! When I go to the field offices, sometimes I visit all three, which means that I travel almost everyday when I go. I don’t think this will always be the case, but for this past trip I was in 4 different cities and 4 different hotels! By the end, I just wanted my own bed haha

One of my favorite projects has been creating a survey that migrants take when they arrive back in Cambodia. This survey allows us to track patterns such as where they are migrating to, where they are from, what job they worked for, etc. to be able to create more effective and efficient programs to prevent unsafe migration. It’s fascinating!

As for living in Cambodia-I can now cross most streets by myself. The key is to just start walking, and keep walking. DON’T STOP HALFWAY. I’ve adjusted to eating rice for most of my meals when I visit the field offices, and I think I’ve mastered how to use a squatty potty. I don’t mean a nice clean one in a building; I mean the dirty ones with questionable liquid on the ground infested with mosquitos on the side of the road. Sorry for that detail, but someone reading this will relate to that, and we have to stick together. In the markets, I can successfully bargain down to half the price and at the grocery store, no one forms a line so you just have to walk up to the counter even if it appears that people were in front of you, and put your stuff down. It’s quite empowering.

We’ve found all sorts of little shops/restaurants/spas, etc. that are NGO operated and the items/services there are made by Cambodians who decided to make a difference in their lives. These are hardworking Cambodians who are choosing to move their lives forward and out of poverty and a state of vulnerability. I love finding and visiting these types of places because I know my money is supporting those Cambodians, and not supporting labor trafficking (because that’s why I’m here working, to prevent it haha). This is also something I’m learning-to live one’s life completely free of goods or services from people who were labor trafficked is TOUGH. It’s everywhere. And it’s devastating. And we need to do what we can to prevent and stop the cycle.

This is where my time with the Lord has been the most helpful and encouraging. There is no way I could do any of this without Him. This work is hard and if I look at the big picture, it is overwhelming. The broader issue of human trafficking seems nearly impossible to end. Tackling it is daunting and multifaceted. If I didn’t have the Lord to guide and calm me, I would be so lost and I would probably just cry 24/7. I would give up. I would say its too hard, there’s too much pain, there are too many people involved, its impossible.

I am thankful for a rock, for a guiding force, for a lighthouse in a storm, for a hand reaching out when I am overwhelmed and looking left and right for answers, for knowing that nothing is impossible with God.

Thanks for reading!

Musings From My Time in Exile

On Monday, I fell feverish and felt my stomach cramp in all sorts of knots. Upon realizing I was burning up and feeling the painful twists in my stomach, I proceeded to pass out (I call it more of a “gray out” than a black out because I was still conscious and could hear/respond) in front of my boss. He had to walk me to another room so I could recover on a cot. It was humiliating/there was nothing I could do about it. I was passing out even if Franklin Graham was standing in front of me.

That being said, the office thinks I passed out because I was so sick. I however, know it was purely mental and this “gray out” has happened before. The places this has occurred include: a hospital (no I wasn’t a patient, I was simply visiting my dear mother after a knee surgery), and a movie theater-there I almost passed out in a bathroom stall and then thought, “If I somehow die here no one will find me for a while” which was totally irrational but nonetheless I managed to move to the bathroom entrance and lost it.

So when the office kept checking in with me to make sure I was okay and wasn’t out cold somewhere, I kept laughing to myself because I knew the fainting was due to a different cause. But I’ve been so blessed with how they have taken care of me.

So as hard as I tried to convince them I was fine, I was put on “4 days of rest.” Which means I’ve been home from work for four days. In a foreign country. With no means of driving anywhere.  Even though I only had a fever one day. Even with my sole purpose of being in Cambodia to work.

One day around noon, I walked to go buy some groceries (even though everything I put into my body left an hour later), and came back to find two staff in my apartment desperately trying to find me. It would appear that I forgot my phone (rookie mistake) and when they tried calling to check on me, I didn’t answer, and they assumed I passed out somewhere and came looking for me. It was quite an ordeal I’m told. And I understood their concern. But I was just hungry and needed some food. Now I knew for sure I couldn’t leave my apartment without being found out…

It has been a somewhat pleasant time, It’s allowed me to skype friends back home which was desperately needed. I was able to watch movies I had been meaning to see (anyone else see “Barry” on Netflix?” If you did, any thoughts?) I finished a book-Love in The Time of Cholera by the one and only Gabriel Garcia Marquez-and caught up on my journaling.

But I also did extreme things, like open all the cabinets in our apartment here to see “just exactly what’s here.” I found ant killing gel, a bunch of yoga business cards, a broken blender, and all sorts of bug spray/anti-diarrhea medicine. I also found a variety of tea bags, and proceeded to make/try all of them. Also, we have new neighbors (a husband and wife with another buddy) who just moved in and they keep playing this odd chill-jam-techno music. I picture them (I haven’t met them yet) just sitting inside bobbing their heads to this music. Occasionally I see boxes outside their door, my favorite was an “international sandwich maker.” I wonder what makes it international? I hope they’ll make me a sandwich with it one day, that would be awesome.

I also hear children playing outside ALL DAY. It sounds like an ongoing recess period, like this place exists solely to give kids recess time. The thing is, I can’t figure out where the sounds are coming from. I live on the third floor so it’s enough to look around and see other nearby buildings and the street level. But I can’t find the screaming kids. Maybe it’s all in my head.

And my manager did give me some work to do, but I had to switch things up you know?

Thanks for reading a pointless blog post about nothing really. Writing helps me process through stuff, and this one needed some humor. So thank you. 

Welcome! I'll be using this blog to update y'all with what I am doing in Cambodia interning with Samaritans Purse.

To begin with, I never thought I would be in Cambodia (thanks to some of my past life experiences-a whole 23 years-of quick twists and turns, I have learned that its best to expectantly say yes to whatever God opens for me). Not because I didn't want to come here, but much to my embarrassment, I knew only a few select points about Cambodia:
1. That it was in South Asia-which meant it had tropical fruits and probably sweet potatoes
2. That human trafficking was a major problem.
3. That YWAM often sends teams to do outreaches there.But after extensively reading the old school travel book that my mom bought me (of which I am SO GRATEFUL FOR-thanks Mom), and now that I've been here for a few days, I wish I had known more about this alluring country.

I'm working out of the capital Phnom Penh-a chaotic, fast-paced city full of locals, foreigners, smells, sights, and sounds 24 hours a day. Every time I leave my apartment I swear I'll meet my death from getting hit by a motorbike. Eventually, I'm going to have to cross a major street to get to work, and I am TERRIFIED just looking at it. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I'll stick to taking a tuk tuk.Even though I'm based out of the capital, I'll get to travel to different provinces to meet with the staff doing work there. I'm excited to see more rural parts of Cambodia as opposed to the busy capital!

The program I am working with is a prevention and protection program against labor trafficking. This is necessary because labor trafficking is a major concern in Cambodia. Individuals leave their home in hopes of finding work, and they usually meet a disguised trafficker who convinces them of work in another country, mostly Thailand, of which they cross into illegally- and sometimes unknowingly. They are then exploited for their labor by working insane hours, not receiving any/or adequate pay, not being able to escape, working very hard manual labor without breaks, etc. Furthermore, they face both mental and physical abuse, debt-bondage, guilt, and forced drug abuse. If they are lucky and manage to escape, they sometimes return unrecognizable to their families, and they are vulnerable to re-victimization. Here is a good article of this in reality: To Stop Trafficking, Equip the Vulnerable

My boss says over and over again, "prevention is key." It isn't the "glamorous" part of anti-trafficking, its not busting down doors to get men out of fishing vessels, or women out of brothels (which also needs to be done), but it is working towards preventing those individuals from needing to be rescued because they are equipped to say no in the first place. It is educating men and women, girls and boys, on how to control their freedom instead of having their freedom controlled by a trafficker.So I've been assigned with two projects to help with thus far, and a lot of readings to get me up to date on trafficking realities and laws present in Cambodia as well as familiarizing myself with what work has been done, and is being done here.

Something else that I did this week was visit Tuol Sleng-a school-turned prison that was used to detain, torture, and kill an estimated of 22,000 victims during the Khmer Rouge. Essentially from 1975-1979 a brutal genocide took place that targeted ethnic Khmers (the largest people group in Cambodia). 3 million people died.Once again, this is something I was ashamed that I did not know too much about. The aftermath runs deep for many Cambodians, and surely still affects many of them presently. It was so important to the office here that I understood what happened, that they sponsored me to go visit the school which is now a genocide museum during work hours. It is essential for the future of Cambodia.I can sit here and try to explain what I felt as I walked in and out of the classrooms, or try to explain how I was too scared to walk into certain parts of the museum out of fear of not knowing how my heart would respond, or I could attempt to explain why its important that people know about it, but I think that is self-explanatory. Instead, I ask that you take some time to look it up. Learn about it, allow compassion to grow within you, ask God how this can shape your heart or simply give it to him and see what he does with it.

Sorry to end on such a negative note, but thank you for reading this far down! Check out the right hand corner as I have listed prayer requests, and come back soon for more updates! 

The Finite Mind

I have been home from Moldova for about two weeks now, and the reality of that continually shocks me. I will never forget the time God allowed us to spend there, the friends He gave, and the opportunities to share God's word with people who may have never heard it.

What I would like to testify to now is God's sovereignty and the way He has been faithfully working in a particular area of my life.  As mentioned in some of my previous posts, I have the amazing opportunity to write for a magazine titled Embolden Magazine on a ministry in Moldova called Stella's Voice. Their vision is to "...provide a home for poverty-ridden girls in Moldova after they are aged out of the state-run orphanages at the young age of 16. The ministry also has the only Christian orphanage in the country, as well as a separate home for boys...Stella's Voice is more than a cry for help and rescue. It is also a beacon of help and hope, making an eternal difference for desperate children." 

Stella's Voice is special to me because God has laid on my heart fighting against human trafficking and when I found out about this ministry in November 2012 I knew there was something deeply special about it. However, it wasn't until February that the doors "opened" for me to write an article on them. Excited and eager I began to form questions, to email the connections we had and I began developing a vision for the story. I prayed and prayed that God would bless this process, that it would go smoothly, etc. but I just kept waiting and waiting. No answers, no follow up emails, no encouraging words until eventually I had no more passion for the story. I wanted to give up. But the editor, April Newell, stepped in and reminded me that God was in control and in His timing everything would be made perfect and she started to do all she could to help. Yet with a crazy summer school schedule and getting ready to go out of the country I felt like it was still the end. I left for Moldova not expecting to hear about the article at all. Once in Moldova however, emails began arriving from April, "Okay Grace the magazine got approval!" "Its okay to write an article on them!" "Ask the questions!" And God began to fill my heart with excitement again. Amidst the emails, I got confirmation from my leader in Moldova that we would actually be visiting Stella's House while we were there. This was the most amazing news, because everything was being made perfect in God's timing. We got the okay from Andrew Cameron, and now I was going to get to visit and interview in person. Nothing could get any better!

Except it does...

As I walked through the doors of the house where some of the girls live I was overwhelmed with the peace and love radiating around us. Stella, a girl who has been there for four years, began showing us around and graciously answering our questions as well as raising new ones. I learned that this ministry is the product of many years of God calling Philip Cameron to build houses to house boys and girls, I learned that not only are they physically taken care of, but while they stay at these houses they find hope in God and they grow to call Him their Father. They have approximately 55 girls with two houses provided for them, 15 boys with one house for them and 48 boys and girls staying in the orphanage called Providence. There are two more houses for girls in construction and a church in construction, called Speranta. Vitalie Cucos, one of the spiritual leaders of Stella's Voice states, "Speranta is a ministry that was started by girls and boys that live in the Stella's house... they started their own church meetings at one of the houses of Stella’s Voice. We do worship services, small groups and youth nights and want to be a blessing for the youth that come to live in Stella’s house and for the community." God has already done so many amazing things for this ministry, lives have been changed, people are hearing the gospel, families are being put back together, church buildings are going up, and I have a feeling this is just the beginning of what God will continue to do.

It still gets better...

While I was there I had the chance to sit down with a few of the people involved in that ministry, namely the daughter of the founder, a volunteer staying there for the summer, one of the house moms and Stela (Remember her?) and as I was interviewing them the presence of the Holy Spirit was incredibly powerful. He gave me visions that I wouldn't have been able to see on my own, he opened my eyes to the truth that was around me. Each and every one of those girls was an orphan, hopeless, alone and petrified of the world. They were headed down an alluring road of despair and betrayal but now they are God's children, He calls them by name and has redeemed them. He has given them a hope and a future that will be nothing short of incredible.
As I was talking with Melody Chalk, daughter of Philip Cameron, on the topic of the change the girls go through when they come to the house and from the other room (where there was a worship service going on) the words to a song titled "Closer" came streaming to our ears, the lyrics are as followed:

"Your love has ravished my heart
And taken me over
Taken me over
And all I want is to be
With you forever
With you forever

So pull me a little closer
Take me a little deeper
I want to know you heart...I want to know your heart

Because Your love is so much sweeter
Than anything I've tasted
I want to know your heart...I want to know your heart"

And when the reality of the situation sank into my heart and mind, I knew it was God just showing me His heart for the girls. The fact that girls who were once orphans, with nothing in their name, no hope, no future, were saved and singing about the love God has for them and about how they want to know more of God's love was breathtaking. I was so overwhelmed in my spirit that I didn't know what to do, I don't even have the words to describe the power behind the entire situation. It was such a special moment that I would not trade anything in the world for. Even after the worship session, my team got to share our testimonies with them and we got to play games and just have a great time for a few hours. Afterwards I talked with a few more girls and it was literally story after story of how God saved them, what He was doing in their lives and how He was proving Himself again and again in being faithful.

And that is why I had struggled for months with getting information for my article. In God's sovereignty (which my human finite mind couldn't comprehend) He wasn't allowing things to work out because He knew the impact it would make for me to be alongside the girls, worshipping our Father together with them, and to see in their eyes the answers to my questions and the change God has brought directly into their lives. As soon as those words to that song came flooding into our ears Melody and I, overwhelmed and in awe of the power that Jesus saves, began crying tears of joy. I know without a shadow of a doubt this story is the direct product of God's faithfulness and He has worked in every aspect of it. May He continue to bless Stella's Voice and continue to change and bring revival to Moldova!

To check out Stella's Voice, here is a link to their website http://www.stellasvoice.org/