Feb. 24, 2017

Hello! I know I said I would update this page often, but I’ve only done it once. Sorry. But I’m realizing that there is a reason people who work overseas in humanitarian/mission work send out newsletters every so often-because while amazing things happen all the time, the reality is that this is a job. I work from 8 am until 5 p.m. in an office for the most part. Sometimes there are no updates, or I’ve grown immune as to what exactly I should update about. Or there are so many updates that I can’t comprehend communicating about them.  Or even, the newness of my work or location can wear off and I feel less entailed to write.

That being said, I know so many of you support, pray for, and encourage me. I am so incredibly grateful for that and so I will continue to update and post, the frequency just might change! And I would never want to grow complacent to what God is doing around me. Posting reminds me to look at all He has done, or what He is working in, and reminds me that He is faithful. And I always want to write about the Lords faithfulness.

So, the biggest update is that I’ve been sick this week. I knew it would happen at some point. I really wasn’t that sick, just a fever on Monday and it passed in the evening. But I have been in recovery-for a humorous depiction of my time being sick, read the post below this at some point. The Lord showed himself in this because it gave me some extra time to reconnect with my personal quiet times, to skype my wonderful and encouraging friends back home, and to catch up on rest. I was also amazed and blessed by the care from the staff here. They took care of me so well!

As for work, it has been a whirlwind!

Basically, I switch off every week with working in the main office in the capital city, and working in the field offices in the northern west province that borders Thailand. When I am in the office I do more “officey” work including edit documents, help translate stories, create surveys to collect data, help my manager with reporting, and learn how to use computer software to help us develop efficient programs. I am always learning something new, and sometimes I have so many questions that I don’t know what to do with (Don’t worry, I ask most of them). Sometimes its hard to be the recent college grad who expects to know everything even though it’s a unrealistic standard… and is then frustrated when she doesn’t know everything and has to ask for help…even though that’s TOTALLY normal and no one expects me to know everything. Man, the thought process of an intern would be interesting to capture.

When I go to the field offices, I work with the national (Cambodian) staff. So far I’ve helped them with a training booklet on safe migration that they will use in the villages. Soon I’ll be going up there for more trainings! When I go to the field offices, sometimes I visit all three, which means that I travel almost everyday when I go. I don’t think this will always be the case, but for this past trip I was in 4 different cities and 4 different hotels! By the end, I just wanted my own bed haha

One of my favorite projects has been creating a survey that migrants take when they arrive back in Cambodia. This survey allows us to track patterns such as where they are migrating to, where they are from, what job they worked for, etc. to be able to create more effective and efficient programs to prevent unsafe migration. It’s fascinating!

As for living in Cambodia-I can now cross most streets by myself. The key is to just start walking, and keep walking. DON’T STOP HALFWAY. I’ve adjusted to eating rice for most of my meals when I visit the field offices, and I think I’ve mastered how to use a squatty potty. I don’t mean a nice clean one in a building; I mean the dirty ones with questionable liquid on the ground infested with mosquitos on the side of the road. Sorry for that detail, but someone reading this will relate to that, and we have to stick together. In the markets, I can successfully bargain down to half the price and at the grocery store, no one forms a line so you just have to walk up to the counter even if it appears that people were in front of you, and put your stuff down. It’s quite empowering.

We’ve found all sorts of little shops/restaurants/spas, etc. that are NGO operated and the items/services there are made by Cambodians who decided to make a difference in their lives. These are hardworking Cambodians who are choosing to move their lives forward and out of poverty and a state of vulnerability. I love finding and visiting these types of places because I know my money is supporting those Cambodians, and not supporting labor trafficking (because that’s why I’m here working, to prevent it haha). This is also something I’m learning-to live one’s life completely free of goods or services from people who were labor trafficked is TOUGH. It’s everywhere. And it’s devastating. And we need to do what we can to prevent and stop the cycle.

This is where my time with the Lord has been the most helpful and encouraging. There is no way I could do any of this without Him. This work is hard and if I look at the big picture, it is overwhelming. The broader issue of human trafficking seems nearly impossible to end. Tackling it is daunting and multifaceted. If I didn’t have the Lord to guide and calm me, I would be so lost and I would probably just cry 24/7. I would give up. I would say its too hard, there’s too much pain, there are too many people involved, its impossible.

I am thankful for a rock, for a guiding force, for a lighthouse in a storm, for a hand reaching out when I am overwhelmed and looking left and right for answers, for knowing that nothing is impossible with God.

Thanks for reading!

Musings From My Time in Exile

On Monday, I fell feverish and felt my stomach cramp in all sorts of knots. Upon realizing I was burning up and feeling the painful twists in my stomach, I proceeded to pass out (I call it more of a “gray out” than a black out because I was still conscious and could hear/respond) in front of my boss. He had to walk me to another room so I could recover on a cot. It was humiliating/there was nothing I could do about it. I was passing out even if Franklin Graham was standing in front of me.

That being said, the office thinks I passed out because I was so sick. I however, know it was purely mental and this “gray out” has happened before. The places this has occurred include: a hospital (no I wasn’t a patient, I was simply visiting my dear mother after a knee surgery), and a movie theater-there I almost passed out in a bathroom stall and then thought, “If I somehow die here no one will find me for a while” which was totally irrational but nonetheless I managed to move to the bathroom entrance and lost it.

So when the office kept checking in with me to make sure I was okay and wasn’t out cold somewhere, I kept laughing to myself because I knew the fainting was due to a different cause. But I’ve been so blessed with how they have taken care of me.

So as hard as I tried to convince them I was fine, I was put on “4 days of rest.” Which means I’ve been home from work for four days. In a foreign country. With no means of driving anywhere.  Even though I only had a fever one day. Even with my sole purpose of being in Cambodia to work.

One day around noon, I walked to go buy some groceries (even though everything I put into my body left an hour later), and came back to find two staff in my apartment desperately trying to find me. It would appear that I forgot my phone (rookie mistake) and when they tried calling to check on me, I didn’t answer, and they assumed I passed out somewhere and came looking for me. It was quite an ordeal I’m told. And I understood their concern. But I was just hungry and needed some food. Now I knew for sure I couldn’t leave my apartment without being found out…

It has been a somewhat pleasant time, It’s allowed me to skype friends back home which was desperately needed. I was able to watch movies I had been meaning to see (anyone else see “Barry” on Netflix?” If you did, any thoughts?) I finished a book-Love in The Time of Cholera by the one and only Gabriel Garcia Marquez-and caught up on my journaling.

But I also did extreme things, like open all the cabinets in our apartment here to see “just exactly what’s here.” I found ant killing gel, a bunch of yoga business cards, a broken blender, and all sorts of bug spray/anti-diarrhea medicine. I also found a variety of tea bags, and proceeded to make/try all of them. Also, we have new neighbors (a husband and wife with another buddy) who just moved in and they keep playing this odd chill-jam-techno music. I picture them (I haven’t met them yet) just sitting inside bobbing their heads to this music. Occasionally I see boxes outside their door, my favorite was an “international sandwich maker.” I wonder what makes it international? I hope they’ll make me a sandwich with it one day, that would be awesome.

I also hear children playing outside ALL DAY. It sounds like an ongoing recess period, like this place exists solely to give kids recess time. The thing is, I can’t figure out where the sounds are coming from. I live on the third floor so it’s enough to look around and see other nearby buildings and the street level. But I can’t find the screaming kids. Maybe it’s all in my head.

And my manager did give me some work to do, but I had to switch things up you know?

Thanks for reading a pointless blog post about nothing really. Writing helps me process through stuff, and this one needed some humor. So thank you.