I Will Look Up

I can not believe it has been two months since I last posted. Wow, does time fly! I’m still attempting to balance the whole, “This is my job so how much do I post or not post?” mindset. But be assured- the work here is moving swiftly!

This past week was a national holiday- Children’s Day- which meant that national staff had the day off and expats worked from our “AWL” (alternative work location). I was pumped because there is this adorable French cafe with a Khmer twist that has faded black and white tile, dark green furnishings, floor length windows, round little wood tables, and plays music like Hotel California and 500 miles. The motos rushing past the windows outside, the market down the street, and the khmer food selection remind me I’m in Cambodia and not some café in Europe.

Anywaysss, the biggest announcement is that my internship has been extended until the beginning of August! So I’ll be staying in Cambodia as the Protection and Prevention Intern (counter-trafficking programming) and I am so thankful and grateful for this opportunity! This is an amazing place to learn, grow, as well as contribute as much as I can, and I am honored they offered me an extension. This means I get a few more months of dusty tuk tuk rides, rice for days, smiles from villagers, crowded bustling markets, and the chance to work alongside an amazing staff.


The next few months will look differently from my first few here, in June there are various trainings scheduled and I have the chance to visit the other projects. And for my own work, I am in the process of packaging the safe migration and trafficking awareness curriculums to make them transferable. Basically it involves endless readings of documents and proposals and reports, and conversations back and forth with managers and staff, I always leave those conversations amazed at the selflessness and passion of the staff.

I also want to share something encouraging with you- because June 1 is a significant day for me (I wrote this post on June 1 but posted it today, sorry!).
On June 1, 2015 I was driving back to Corpus for an unexpected summer that I was uneasy and anxious about. Even though I knew the Lord was in it and pushing me to have an uncomfortable summer, I kept asking the Lord, “Why, why, why do I have to do this?”


And on June 1, 2016 I was supposed to be packing and flying to DR Congo the next day- but my visa never came. And day after day I waited for this visa because I was SO so sure I was still going. I had no official place to stay, my car broke down, no friends were near me, I was working only a few hours a week since it was so last minute, and scrambled to find a organization that would still hire.
In both summers and situations, I had no idea what August would look like. I questioned the Lord’s provision. How would I get through? What step do I take today? How would he grow me? What kind of person would I be at the end of these experiences?
And in full confidence- God 100% took care of me. The first summer he gave me countless new friends, new opportunities to work and grow (actually one of my jobs led me to add a minor in my degree when I went back to school in the fall and now I am working in that same field!), and I got to be closer to my family. My theme song for the summer was “Good Good Father” because it articulated everything I was experiencing.


And the second summer He gave me an opportunity to stay in the states and work in refugee resettlement in Chicago. As it turns out, a lot of the clients were Congolese refugees. It ended up being an amazing summer beyond what I could have ever imagined.

And when I returned to my school after both summers, one of the songs we sang in the first chapel both years was- “I Will look Up” and these lyrics specifically captured my summer experiences:

“I will look back and see that You are faithful

I look ahead believing You are able

Jesus Lord of all”

In both summers he provided and cared for me endlessly in ways I didn’t even know I needed. He was working all the pieces together, and it was blurry and fuzzy for me but he had a clear picture. And at the end I was amazed at his handiwork.


And so, here I am now- June 1, 2017! Praise the Lord this June 1 was smoother than the last two, but I am definitely facing uncertainty! I have kind of a clear picture of the next two months, but I have no idea what the Lord has for me after August. Yet it is because of these experiences (and more, but for today's purposes the focus is on these two) that I can say the Lord is faultlessly faithful. And whatever I (you) have to face, whatever I (you) will experience, he is already ahead of me (you) maneuvering the pieces and putting them together. For the glory and the honor of His name.


And so dear friends, I hope that whatever you are facing, whatever mountain is in front of you, whatever is causing confusing and anxious (even doubting) thoughts, I pray that the Lord meets you in a way that causes you to say to Him- “I will look back and see that you are faithful, I look ahead believing You are able,  Jesus Lord of all”


PS- Please feel free to contact me if you need anything!!